Ugly Mandalas
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
 

After a 40-year career as a marriage, child, and family therapist, I moved from California to Italy, where I live on a small olive farm. Recently, I started publishing journals and books, along with everyone and their cousin.

Looking for inspiration, I saw beautiful mandala coloring books and thought; hey, I could make those. Ha, ha! In general, I am not artistic, and creating a mandala takes talent, a steady hand, and practice. Well, what will happen to all the mandalas I create while practicing? A friend said, "Why not publish a book?" I have become attached to them; they're unique, and some are interesting in an elementary style, so why not put them out there? Someone might see the humor and have fun coloring them in.

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Publishing this was not easy for me. I have a little perfectionism, and showing less-than-perfect work can be embarrassing. I'm sure some of you can relate.

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Exposing these mandalas took throwing my critical self out the window! Perfectionism be damned!

The mandalas were fun to make. Surprisingly, I learned a lot from creating this silly book. The process was relaxing, even a little hypnotic. When coloring them in, a person can quiet the chatter in their mind and ponder deep thoughts.

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Like ...
I am not my ugly mandala. I am not a perfect webpage or pretty pictures on social media. What others see when they look at each of us is not who we are. Our appearance, clothes, art, cars, houses, and such may indicate our style and tastes but do not describe our character. Many of us contend with visible and hidden health issues. Many of us struggle with self-esteem, and finding good friends and groups where we feel like we fit in can be challenging. Perfect images and unrealistic lives are a constant reflection on TV, the internet, and magazines. Add to that the harsh criticisms and judgments floating around these days, which can be hard to deflect, and it can take a toll. What if we call our flaws, and the things we try to hide, our "ugly mandalas?" It's a way to externalize instead of internalize—and feel worse about ourselves.

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I know it's a bit silly, but what if we used "ugly mandalas" as a catch-all term for the parts of us that are less than perfect? For example, I have ADHD, and one of the traits is being disorganized. I LOVE organization, but it's really hard for me to stay organized. So, I have piles of things in the corners of my house. It embarrasses me terribly. But, when a friend was here, I pointed to a couple of piles and said, "Ha, ha, those are my ugly mandalas," which minimized my embarrassment. What if we recognize them as "ugly mandalas" instead of beating ourselves up? Just like mandalas, we can do our best to work on them, make them 'better' or accept them the way they are—and ultimately accept ourselves. Because our ugly mandalas are not who we are. And the truth is, EVERYONE has ugly mandalas.

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A beautiful mandala can hide ugliness, and an ugly mandala can hide the beauty of its creator.
... Too deep? Ha, ha, ha.

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And this led to the Ugly Mandalas Webpage.

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See the rest of the story in the About section. 

 

You are good enough!

 We all have value, even with our Ugly Mandalas.

 

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